if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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