you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
