they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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