Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
