they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
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I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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