There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
