): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
