a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
