I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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