I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
