Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So much Jack, so little girl.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
