butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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