Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
