Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
