so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize