Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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