Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
