Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
