Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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