just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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