"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
