Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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