weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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