i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize