I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
