I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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