Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
