Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
