Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
