Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
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Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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