its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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