You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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