No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
