What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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