Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize