If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
