i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize