I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
