My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
