he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
