I could make wine with my vomit
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
