like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
