i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
