Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
