Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
