Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...

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(517): View more from Michigan

found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.

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(845): View more from New York

I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

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Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

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(310): View more from California

I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave

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(330): View more from Ohio

No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit

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