hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?