Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  that girl last night was a 15

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  wait she was 15?

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  no like black jack not sure if you should hit it

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  (413): that girl last night was a 15 (1-413): wait she was 15? (413): no like black jack not sure if you should hit it http://tfl.nu/qny1
  Replies (52) Good night (4095) Bad night (844)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized

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  (860): so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized http://tfl.nu/4l7y
  Replies (22) Good night (795) Bad night (6127) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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  (815): just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home. http://tfl.nu/6d9n
  Replies (14) Good night (475) Bad night (6647) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.

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  (608): Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex. http://tfl.nu/iq87
  Replies (19) Good night (5130) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?

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  (951): My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate? http://tfl.nu/77q7
  Replies (77) Good night (6913) Bad night (1063) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her

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  (206): You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her http://tfl.nu/auxf
  Replies (6) Good night (3421) Bad night (1575) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential

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  (330): I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential http://tfl.nu/2wmk
  Replies (5) Good night (2995) Bad night (896)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first

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  (937): I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first http://tfl.nu/2voj
  Replies (13) Good night (2398) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny

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  (765): We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny http://tfl.nu/ty4j
  Replies (6) Good night (5140) Bad night (645) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.

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  (513): He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower. http://tfl.nu/6nkf
  Replies (8) Good night (4734) Bad night (660)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.

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  (512): i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me. http://tfl.nu/wgh1
  Replies (11) Good night (1960) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.

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  (206): It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights. http://tfl.nu/5zul
  Replies (5) Good night (534) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.

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  (814): I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood. http://tfl.nu/fkn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1015) Bad night (337) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually

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  (408): This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually http://tfl.nu/dqmb
  Replies (2) Good night (574) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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  (419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp
  Replies (8) Good night (392) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt

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