Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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(847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma

Replies (3) Good night (1151) Bad night (1612)
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(310): View more from California

i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.

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(310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details. http://tfl.nu/0mu6

Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (2144)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Did you fuck her?

(212): View more from New York

If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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(703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g

Replies (3) Good night (950) Bad night (3030)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.

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(402): P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide. http://tfl.nu/s8ub

Replies (5) Good night (3776) Bad night (525)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer

(678): View more from Georgia

you spelled her name wrong

(404): View more from Georgia

not you too!!

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(404): I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer (678): you spelled her name wrong (404): not you too!! http://tfl.nu/woxr

Replies (49) Good night (1576) Bad night (4535)
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(419): View more from Ohio

i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.

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(419): i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover. http://tfl.nu/0t27

Replies (26) Good night (925) Bad night (4726)
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(269): View more from Michigan

its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"

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(269): its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot" http://tfl.nu/fb26

Replies (11) Good night (5111) Bad night (864)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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(757): Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome' http://tfl.nu/u586

Replies (17) Good night (4574) Bad night (938)
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(347): View more from New York

I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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(347): I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time. http://tfl.nu/7l8h

Replies (3) Good night (845) Bad night (2037)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.

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(540): Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms. http://tfl.nu/tg48

Replies (16) Good night (3369) Bad night (638)
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(541): View more from Oregon

they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you

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(541): they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you http://tfl.nu/813g

Replies (23) Good night (4334) Bad night (544)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?

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(563): I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor? http://tfl.nu/8nw2

Replies (12) Good night (1642) Bad night (401)
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(626): View more from California

While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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(626): While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid. http://tfl.nu/l2lf

Replies (5) Good night (1813) Bad night (421)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.

(1-773): View more from Illinois

I love you football head

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(773): Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head. (1-773): I love you football head http://tfl.nu/y5ut

Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (586)
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(407): View more from Florida

You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.

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(407): You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding. http://tfl.nu/z49c

Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (298)

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