Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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  (202): why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock http://tfl.nu/5322
  Replies (23) Good night (965) Bad night (3792)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.

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  (202): We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible. http://tfl.nu/l361
  Replies (19) Good night (5199) Bad night (604)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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  (913): He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me. http://tfl.nu/hd8j
  Replies (36) Good night (807) Bad night (4292)
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  (510): View more from California

  You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying

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  (510): You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying http://tfl.nu/xlhu
  Replies (25) Good night (2150) Bad night (6091)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.

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  (613): Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night. http://tfl.nu/w938
  Replies (14) Good night (965) Bad night (3708)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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  (404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j
  Replies (6) Good night (3906) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.

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  (262): we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere. http://tfl.nu/ddqg
  Replies (9) Good night (1832) Bad night (2741)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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  (330): we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it http://tfl.nu/pd6c
  Replies (11) Good night (2239) Bad night (3132)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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  (904): the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm http://tfl.nu/rl73
  Replies (10) Good night (2482) Bad night (1095)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.

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  (419): Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won. http://tfl.nu/dkj1
  Replies (3) Good night (2703) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

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  (904): HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/mng5
  Replies (9) Good night (2595) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.

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  (801): That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels. http://tfl.nu/fhyu
  Replies (7) Good night (514) Bad night (872)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"

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  (717): This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick" http://tfl.nu/axax
  Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm drunk at 3:28

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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  (913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv
  Replies (1) Good night (1200) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.

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  (219): You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him. http://tfl.nu/eshg
  Replies (3) Good night (1060) Bad night (390)

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