Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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