it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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