belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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