Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize