My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
