You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
