I need help removing her.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
