is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize