i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Girls should come with a carfax report
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
