I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
