He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
