We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
