so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Be still, my beating vagina.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
